According to Ann Coulter, the crying, traumatized children in these internment camps are actors.

This would normally be my place to provide you with a nice paragraph of eloquent invective about the woman I’ve considered a loathsome monster for years now.

However, none of that will provide much in the way of enlightenment about anything except the state of my capacity for stringing together eloquent expressions of disgust.

What I will do instead is examine the premise.

Let us imagine a little brown boy, or girl, with an interest in acting. Let us imagine that this child really hopes to get cast in a Spielberg movie someday. Let us imagine instead that Central American Variety puts out a casting call for lots and lots of children, the more photogenic and heart-rending the better, to play a long-term role which will consist of staying in character while sitting around on concrete floors behind chain-link fencing, and doing nothing. Let us further imagine that the bigger things this performance can lead to are limited to further indefinite periods existing in tents, with no amenities, at the height of desert heat.

We are expected to believe that in a world where the Harry Potter kids needed to be coached and trained and directed to get to the point where they were professional enough to not move their lips in silent rehearsal of the lines they were being fed cues for, or look directly at the camera while speaking, THESE little brown children sleeping on concrete will see the visitors who have had to fight for days to see them are secretly thinking, “This is my big moment! I have to find my center! I have to sell the premise that I’m traumatized and heartbroken and don’t know what’s going to happen to me!”

That they’re studying the Method, finding their centers, doing vocal exercises, practicing, and later critiquing one another, all to give the most persuasive performances as children living through a nightmare, staying in character twenty-four hours a day, as prisoners. Down to the tiniest babies!

And in her fantasy, when one of them thinks of complaining about the working conditions, when one of them says, you know what, my agent never said anything about this, they are not treated as prisoners; in fact, the talented show-runners working with them will inevitably say what you or I would say, “Well, are you saying you don’t want the job anymore?”, when that happens?

No doubt they all say, “What? And quit show business?”

Tags: Ann Coulter, Assholes, Race, Republicans | Category Commentary, Humor, Politics