Adam-Troy Castro

Writer of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Stories About Yams.

 

My Interview With Donald Trump

Posted on March 25th, 2016 by Adam-Troy Castro

“I will do this!”

“How?”

“I have a history of doing things! I will do this and I will be terrific at doing it!”

“Yes, but how?”

“I’m telling you, I will do it the second I’m put in a position to do it!”

“And I’m asking you, how?”

“Look! It’s not that difficult! Day one, I will order my people to do this!”

“Yes, and when they ask you, ‘how?'”

“When I tell people to do something, they better do it if they know what’s good for them! That’s the problem with the guy you have doing things now! He isn’t firm!”

“Yes, but if what you’re asking people to do is insane or impossible, or if it creates worse problems, you really do need to give them some guidance regarding how they’re supposed to accomplish what you’re asking them to do. Really, is it conceivable to you that what you perceive as a lack of firmness is actually an adult comprehension of logical possibilities and nuanced consequences?”

“Day one! I’m telling you! I will do this thing and it will be the greatest thing anybody’s ever done!”

“Don’t you have a history of failing at other things you promised to do?”

“I’m fabulous! I’m the best! When I tell my people to do something, it gets done! Or else!”

“What do you say to past people who worked for you who say that your orders were capricious, vague, and self-contradictory?”

“I’m telling you! I will do all these things! You won’t believe how fast I’ll get them done!”

“What if I don’t believe you now?”

“THEN YOU’RE A LOSER!”

“You deny even the premise that some things are impossible?”

“I don’t believe that anything’s impossible! When I’m given a task, I carry it out!”

“Fine. Then I have a suggestion for you.”

6 Responses to "My Interview With Donald Trump"

  1. Did you see the transcript of his meeting with the editorial board of the Washington Post? He was even more vague and incoherent in real life than in your scenario!
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2016/03/21/a-transcript-of-donald-trumps-meeting-with-the-washington-post-editorial-board/

  2. Oh god – reading this transcript – if this guy got his way with libel laws – the press would be afraid to print anything at all about anything that was pure recorded statistics. “John Doe died today” – things like that. Guess if he were to get elected, being a litigation lawyer would be the field to be in.

  3. Hell, that’s more or less what we have now. Only the worry isn’t libel so much as losing access, accusations of “liberal bias,” and corporate ownership of the media. Edward R. Murrow? Gone and forgotten. Woodward and Bernstein? Their day has come and gone. The only thing that counts as “investigative journalism” these days is checking the temperature of the Moo Goo Gi Pan at the Chinese buffet and setting up ambush interviews with the local pedophile.

    Besides politics and economics is boring. Football, movies, and Kardashian nude selfies. That’s what’s important!

  4. Well, that’s what happens when the entertainment division is in charge of the news division. Thank you, Roone Arledge.

  5. In short: “I gotta guy!”

  6. Sheer willpower! Which means… Trump is Green Lantern.

Leave a Reply



  



  

  


XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

 
 
 

Copyright © 2011 Adam-Troy Castro Designed by Brandy Hauman