Posted on May 7th, 2015 by Adam-Troy Castro
If Obama were to declare war on to Texas, if he could somehow give the order and make it stick without everybody below him questioning his sanity, if he were able to persuade them that this was a good idea, if the upper echelon at the Pentagon were to refrain from open revolt, if the logistics for the operation were to spread through the many many hundreds or thousands of people who would have to know about it just to start without even one whistleblower going to the media, if this was somehow to be kept from any of the Texans among them, if nobody said that we could barely hold on to countries the size of Iraq or Afghanistan without getting bogged down in open revolts, if nobody said that the conflict would go on for years, if nobody said that it was madness for a country to invade territory it already has, if nobody said that the media would crucify him, if nobody said that the other 49 states would rise up to stop him for fear of being next, if nobody were to say that he would lose all the legitimacy he has both domestically and internationally, if nobody were to say that the death toll among military and civilians would swiftly reach five figures and would keep rising until it dwarved the Civil War, if nobody put a bullet in his head, and if the orders came down past the higher officers to the lower officers to the enlisted grunts and every single goddamned one of them were to nod their heads and say, “Sure, whatever you say, boss,” and buy into the insanity, if in short Obama were to make this order stick without a single whiff of rebellion and it went ahead and happened…
…it wouldn’t be a matter for debate in town halls, you morons.
If Obama were to decide to invade Texas, your misspelled poster-board signs would not do a damn thing to stop him, and there’d be no point in trying to stop him with your household guns, because he has planes and bombs and most of you would be dead pretty much right away. But mostly, you idiots, it would not be a subject for debate. Because there would be no possibility of denying it. It would be happening.
Tags: Obama, Politics | Category Commentary, Humor, Politics, Uncategorized
Comment By: Elena Gaillard
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Of course nobody else would object or blow the whistle! Because TEXAS. We’ve been wanting to stick it to them for YEARS. PAYBACK FOR GWB.
Comment By: Barry King
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Can we just put up a wall around TX, and force them to become a republic again?
Comment By: Bob Titchenell
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Why not give Texas back to Mexico?! 🙂
Comment By: Dina Pearlman
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I don’t think Mexico would want them.
Comment By: Never Ben Better
May 7th, 2015 at 4:18 pm
Indeed.
Not that any such considerations would abate the gibbering one whit.
Comment By: Paul Balze
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Isn’t it fun to dismantle paranoid fantasies?
Comment By: Rex Reese
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Drop a nuke on Texas and blow it back to 1836, if not earlier.
Comment By: Cindy Jones
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Aww come on now, don’t trash my beautiful state. That’s damning the multitude for the idiocy of the few. I know the broad brush is handy it’s human nature to pick it up and paint.. but the high road ( where you travel naturally and gracefully) demands that you pity us for our irrational fears– and pray for us to be enlightened.
: )
Comment By: Rex Reese
May 8th, 2015 at 12:31 am
Cindy Jones – I apologize. But I get my broad brushes from the Lowe’s up the street from me.
Comment By: Cindy Jones
May 8th, 2015 at 4:22 pm
REX– I thank you most sincerely. I do understand you–we are alike….as human beings. Alas, my own pockets are full to spilling with the loathsome implements.
: /
I must oft remind myself that I ALWAYS end up kicking myself when I’ve wielded any one of them.
Comment By: Daniel Hatch
May 8th, 2015 at 6:19 pm
If Obama took over Texas, would he tell Pam Gellar to leave the poor Muslims alone?
Comment By: Bobby
May 22nd, 2015 at 10:35 pm
Rex: The only problem with that plant is that Texas is STILL in 1836.