Premise: Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Stories, which must hinge on barbecues.
Barbecues on space colonies, barbecues in haunted houses, barbecues in fantasy landscapes – as long as it’s about barbecues, it’s for us! Imagine three astronauts, stuck in orbit, barbecuing; three elves, on a quest, barbecuing; a woman trapped in a dark house with a serial killer, barbecuing. Prose must be evocative to pursue the flavor. We want cutting-edge ORIGINAL fiction but have limited room for reprints, so if you know a great classic barbecue story, let us know!
Turn-Offs: Gratuitous sex scenes, unless they involve sauce. Offensive language, unless it involves hot sauce getting in somebody’s eye. We will look at zombie stories as long as no cannibalism is involved. We will look at cannibalism stories as long as no zombies are involved. In no case will it be permissible for the zombies or cannibals to eat barbecue or to bring their own food in from outside.
Submission Guidelines: The world of barbecuing is a rich and fertile ground for imaginative literature, so we expect a wide variety of cutting edge fiction, based on keenly detailed extrapolation and fully-imagined characters. To avoid plot duplications we request outlines sent in advance, 100 words per every five hundred words of story. We are interested in stories from 150-19999 words, though novellas must not be simple lists of recipes. NOTE: The stories must *entirely* take place at the respective barbecues. No stories where the main action of the story takes place elsewhere, even if that character is involved with a complicated and suspenseful situation that changes his life forever and keeps thinking, “Plus, I’m looking forward to the barbecue.” The story must begin and end at the barbecue with all internal conflict about barbecuing issues. Flashbacks are permitted only if they are to other past, pivotal, formative barbecues.
Payment: We pay half a cent a word on publication for exclusive world rights for a period of five years. Authors will receive royalties for olfactory rights. Selected authors will also receive a copy of the book. By selected authors we mean, all except one. We will pick that one at random. Everybody else can buy the book at twice publisher cost but that one will not be able to obtain one at any price unless somebody cheats. This will be enforced.
To Submit: Send stories in five electronic formats including .rtf, .pdf, and text Youtube video to BEASTLY BARBECUE, Post Office Box 732, Boynton Beach Florida, 33472. If sending on paper, provide five copies, two of which must be blurry carbons, one of which must be printed on corrasable bond. Use 72 point Dom Casual font. Deadline is June 4, 2015. All decisions will be made by June 4, 2018. Don’t miss out on your chance to be in this great anthology! We look forward to receiving your stories!
Comment By: Adam-Troy Castro
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
SHARE THE GUIDELINES, PEOPLE!
Comment By: Jude-Marie Green
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Decisions made by June 4, 2018?
Comment By: Adam-Troy Castro
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
We will be examining every submission very closely, and reading them up to ten times apiece, to be *sure*.
Comment By: Sharan Volin
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I was thinking I do need to start writing again but then I read the guidelines all the way through. 😉
Comment By: Luis M Milan Leal
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Dammit you had me going there… I had a good story and everything.
“Miss Jill, we’ve traced the source of the delicious briskety smell… it’s coming from INSIDE YOUR HOUSE! Get out of that house!”
Comment By: Steven Silver
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
So a story about a Vampire Cannibal would be okay? Or a Zombie Vampire? But not a Zombie Vampire Cannibal?
Comment By: Jeff Strand
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I’ll see your joke and raise you a real book! http://tinyurl.com/nvb2oqp
Comment By: Adam-Troy Castro
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
“With An Introduction by Noted Barbecue Suspense Author Jeff Strand”
Comment By: Richard Lee Byers
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Very interesting! I will start cogitating. Meanwhile, you might be interested in this market listing I found a couple years ago: http://rleebyers.livejournal.com/97212.html
Comment By: Alan Smale
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I’m totally writing the story I just thought of, and not sending it to you. ;-P
Comment By: Adam-Troy Castro
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
“Payment: 10% discount on the cover price of one copy of the issue of the magazine in which your story appears.” Bwah-ha-ha!
Comment By: Adam-Troy Castro
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I once challenged Lawrence Watt-Evans to come up with a name for that sinking feeling you get while reading hyper-picky anthology guidelines but before you find out how much they pay. He said, “Penny-antecipation.”
Comment By: Barbara Krasnoff
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Humphh! I’ll bet there’s a Secret List of invited authors and all of us slushy folks will have to arm wrestle for the three vacant spaces. (By the way, can the barbecue be kosher? Or vegan?)
Comment By: John Platt
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
That may be the funniest thing you ever wrote. And maybe the most horrific.
Comment By: Jude-Marie Green
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I’m not sure I *have* olfactory rights to sell to you. *fretfretfret*
Comment By: Garrett Cook
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I hope you enjoy the actual submissions people try to send you for this.
Comment By: Karen Anderson
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Does your reviewing process employ Slushies?
Comment By: Lawrence Watt-Evans
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I did?
Comment By: Cee Negelein
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
https://m.facebook.com/groups/440107622678110?ref=bookmark
Comment By: Cee Negelein
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Let me guess.I write five BBQ stories,and I submit the best. My piece is solid, but just misses the final cut. Then the poor editors at Fantasy wonder why they have five BBQ themed stories sent to them the month after that.
Comment By: Jude-Marie Green
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Cee, the cut’s in 2018.
Comment By: David Alexander McDonald
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Of course 2018. The submissions have to marinate for a good long time to get the flavour in there!
Comment By: Peter Rawlik
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
My tale The Eldritch Rotisserie of Meyer Goldstein has been subbed
Comment By: Barbara Kwasniewski
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I’ve never written fiction before. Maybe this would be a good place to start?
Comment By: David Steffen
May 7th, 2015 at 4:48 pm
This one came immediately to mind as a reprint:
http://dunesteef.com/2014/05/07/episode-158-fatherly-pride-by-rish-outfield/
Comment By: Ken Brady
May 7th, 2015 at 8:18 pm
Three years is not nearly enough time to write a true BBQ masterpiece. That said, I’m firing up “The Pit Barbecue and the Pendulum” now.
Comment By: Andrew
May 30th, 2015 at 7:22 pm
I’m not sure which is sadder: the excitement I felt upon seeing this because I happened to write a story a few months ago centered on barbecue that may take place during the beginning of the zombie apocalypse or that a joke anthology is the closest thing I’ve found to a home for this story. Either way I’m excited to surprise whoever owns that PO box with a story.